Some habits are harder to break than others

I have been blessed with many good friends over the years through our many moves and adventures.  I have been doubly blessed to have found a few "bosom buddies" with whom I've shared an extra special connection.

On this assignment, I was even more privileged to have found that bosom buddy in my very own village, just a short walk up the street.  We both homeschool.  We both like to cook and try new recipes.  Our children get along famously.  We both like creative endeavors.  We both love the Lord. We enjoyed countless hours of chatting; many, many laughs; some big fat ugly cries; swapping babysitting; sharing meals; exchanging endless favors; and, an untold number of tea and coffee afternoons together as our kids played.

Alas, as is the case with this military lifestyle, the time to say goodbye had to come.  As if England knew a big, black cloud had settled over my heart, Hurricane Bertha came to darken the skies and shed lots and lots of tears to match my very own the day they flew out.

In the few days she's been gone, I have, without thinking started to: pop in while next door at the mechanic; call her for cooking advice; invite her over to show her the girls' birthday gifts; and, share a recipe from our organic produce delivery so she could try it next week when her box comes.

Apparently when one has a bosom buddy, its takes one's bosom some time to remove itself from autopilot in assuming the buddy is still there.  Kinda like phantom pain when one's arm has been removed.

Eventually, I will develop new habits and adjust to her absence.  In the meantime though, chatting with her on Facebook while pretending she's still just up the street works for me.

An Open Letter to My Young Friend

Dear Young Friend,

I have had the privilege of knowing, loving and praying for you since you were just a little girl.  You have always brought so much joy to those who know you with your infectious grin and sweet disposition.

You have been raised a "military brat" though why they call you all "brats" I'll never know.  You and your "kind" are among the most resourceful, brave, resilient, friendly and outgoing bunch of people I know and "brat" does not come to mind when I think of the grace required to not only endure but thrive in the lifestyle that you all have been born into.

You are now a lovely young woman and ready to move on from the life of military brat to that of military wife.  You are more than prepared for this adventure and know exactly what you are getting into.  However that does not make the heartaches and surprises along the way any less painful when you must face them.

And today, you must face one...and you haven't even made it down the aisle yet to your official status change.  And for that reason, I weep for you today.  For today you will learn that your groom will not be available to meet you at the end of that aisle..for duty will have called him elsewhere... on your anticipated wedding date.

I do not know what the two of you will decide to do with this unexpected change of plans, but I do pray for great wisdom and patience for the two of you as you determine your next step.

As I prayed this morning, I kept thinking back to a little girl I knew many years ago.  We had stopped at a rest stop, and I had bought chocolate bars for all the children.  You, my young friend, did not like chocolate and I'd forgotten.  You very sweetly and graciously said simply, "No thank you Ma'am," with a smile on your face even though I had nothing else to offer you in its place to sweeten the disappointment.  You were content to be without a treat.

I know today's offering can not even compare to an unwanted chocolate candy and you'd like nothing better than to say "no thank you" to it as well.  . But while I had nothing to offer in my meager disliked gift's place, today's gift Giver has something infinitely better waiting for you in its place.  I do not know what that will be, but pray that you and your groom find it soon and realize its blessings immensely.

So my dear young friend, today I pray you and your groom will find comfort knowing the Lord has you in His arms and in His will you will never be disappointed, even when there are tears along the way.

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11

With much love

Me

What a difference a year makes

Once upon a time, a weary military wife was informed that she'd be moving to England.  Being the mature, godly woman that she was, she graciously accepted this news with a good attitude and much joy.  (well any story that starts with "once upon a time" is a fairy tale isn't it??)

Okay, so she didn't accept it graciously.  In fact, she cried and wailed and got snippy with her husband for taking her sooooo far away from 60% of her children.  They spent their 26th anniversary supervising the loading up of all their household goods, hot, exhausted, and she, stressed and seething with resentment.

2 days later he flew off on his grand adventure and left her behind living with her parents and awaiting visas to join him.  Well as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and a month later, in spite of having a lovely visit with her family, she was ecstatic to get on that plane to fly off to join him.

A year has passed since our fairy tale began, and as most fairy tales, do, this one does have a happy ending (or in this case middle, because its never really over) and the weary military wife is no longer as weary and in fact has even found much joy in England.

Moral of the story:  Once again, the Lord had better plans for her than she wanted for herself and has given her so much more than she even imagined:  an excellent church home that is feeding and restoring her weary soul, amazing friends to just hang out with, many opportunities to travel to new places, and of course, sticky toffee pudding.

2 days after my arrival last year

Memorial Day...a day late

I think of this poem EVERY Memorial Day.  Yesterday we were driving back from holiday in Wales so I didn't get to post it, but still wanted to post it today in honor of those we remember...and those that loved them.

All Honor to Her

He offered himself for the land he loved,

But what shall we say for her ?
He gave to his country a soldier's life;
'Twas dearer by far to the soldier's wife.
All honor today to her !

He went to the war while his blood was hot,
But what shall we say of her ?
He saw himself through the battle's flame
A hero's reward on the scroll of fame;
What honor is due to her ?
He offered himself, but his wife did more,
All honor today to her !

For dearer than life was the gift she gave
In giving the life she would die to save;
What honor is due to her?
He gave up his life at his country's call,
But what shall we say of her ?
He offered himself as a sacrifice,
But she is the one who pays the price.
All honor we owe to her.

****I do not know who wrote this. I found it on the website:
http://www.lovetolearnplace.com/SpecialDays/Veteransday/Veteransdaypoetry.html
no author is credited

Choosing to be thankful

Some days you just gotta CHOOSE to be thankful because some days you just don't FEEL it.  Especially on a rainy, cold day on one side of the Atlantic Ocean while your lovely, talented daughter is on the other preparing for her junior piano recital that you are going to miss.

So today I choose to be thankful for this military life in spite of the distance...and the ocean... it places between my Swan and me on such an important day for her.

I am thankful for this life that has grown a strong marriage for MWC and me through all of its new beginnings, trials, and adventures.

I am thankful for this life that has enabled me to see much of the world.  I have been in 14 countries and 40 states.  Not all of these have been related to our military life, but I can assure you that the list would be
SIGNIFICANTLY shorter without it.

I am thankful for this life that has helped us to be a close knit family.  We've relied on each other through thick and thin and have always had each other when we've had to say good-bye to everyone else.

I am thankful for this life's contribution to my older children's independent, responsible characters.  They have faced hardships, challenges and adventures and grown into self-sufficient, capable young adults of whom I'm very proud.

I am thankful for this life and all the wonderful people it has caused me to meet and love over the years.

I am thankful for this life because it is so awesomely suited for MWC's talents and gifts, and has enabled him to serve our great country happily, proudly,  and well.

I am thankful for this life because it has provided us with a financially stable life with job security in a time of such economic hardship for many others.

I am thankful that MWC is able to be there for Swan so she has at least one parent for her recital.

And mostly I am thankful for this life because it has caused me to continually look to the Lord for my joy and contentment, when my real nature would without a doubt seek those things in the temporary things of this world.

So today, I CHOOSE to be thankful.

Kids *see* the darnedest things

Overheard at the family dinner table this evening:

MWC:  I get to see the Wing Commander tomorrow.

Sunshine, perking up as she overhears this interesting piece of news: What's the Wing Commander?

MWC:  He's the colonel in charge of the whole base.

Sunshine: Does he have wings?

MWC, stifling a chuckle:  No.

Sunshine: Ahhh, that's not interesting then.

While technically, the Wing King does indeed have his own wings, they apparently aren't of the variety that interest little girls.

A Father and a son...and their faith in one another

It is no secret that raising Frog has been quite an adventure. (just ask the newly expectant first time parents who we traumatized with Froggie stories recently)  Raising such an intelligent, confident, promising, strong-willed young man took nerves of steel and calloused knees. His great potential was evident at an early age, but it took much prayer and hard work to guide it and help him realize it himself and to pursue it.  I would be lying if I said, we never despaired and we never feared for his future.  However, I can honestly say we never thought for a moment that he couldn't succeed at anything he pursued,  if he would only choose the right path and set his mind to it.  We are so thankful that he did just that and is on the path that he is on.  It was our desire to be obedient to the Lord in our parenting and that faith in Frog that gave us the stamina and courage we needed in raising this remarkable young man.

However, we have also learned that is not just parents that have faith in the success of their children, but children can have that faith right back.  Frog is such a child.  One year ago, when MWC's promotion board was to meet, Frog hung signs up all over the house (one which stayed up until the day we moved out of the house) congratulating his father on his promotion.  While the rest contemplated other options for a future at his current rank, Frog knew without a doubt, that his father would get that promotion.  Being "passed over" as they call it in military lingo, was not even an option in his mind.  MWC never voiced it, but I strongly suspect, it was Frog's faith in him that helped him keep hope alive during those long months as we awaited the results of his promotion board.

So it was extra precious to me recently that on the official date of MWC's promotion, we were with Frog observing him living his dream: father and son, both airman in the world's greatest Air Force, celebrating together.

Out of my league

I'm very proud of MWC and his sense of duty, hard work and integrity.  I also marvel at God's blessings poured upon us and the worldly honor he has bestowed on MWC.   MWC has been officially promoted and is now at the highest rank he can obtain in the USAF.  It was a promotion he was told he'd never make and he didn't actively pursue.  He didn't ask for the *right* jobs, he didn't make the right sacrifices.  He set his mind to serving the Lord, and balancing serving in the military while raising a large family.  Yet the Lord kept putting opportunities in his path, and that path lead to this promotion.

I confess I didn't want this promotion.  I wanted retirement. I wanted out.  I confess I selfishly prayed that he would not get it.  Yet, as I shared a while ago, the Lord was merciful to me in changing my heart when it came time for us to hear the news and I truly wanted this promotion because MWC wanted it, and I wanted him to be happy.

Well now he has officially "pinned on".  Its odd to see that rank on his shoulders.  Its odd to see the extra respect and level of responsibility that goes with it.  He had to explain to me how things are different now for him from a military point of view.  I didn't get it.

To me, MWC is still the man I love. The man who still takes too long in the bathroom, snores at night if he isn't wearing his Breathe-Right strips, and still forgets to pick things up for me on base if he doesn't write it down (or more likely call his office and leave himself a message on voicemail).

And I'm still me.  I'm still the slightly overweight, increasingly forgetful, happy to be home with my children mom, who doesn't really know how to behave as the wife of  "one of those guys."  I've got a new world opened up to me socially now and feel new expectations placed upon me.  I feel I should be classier, more sophisticated, more worthy of reflecting my husband's new rank.  But I'm not, I'm still me.

And I wonder, why do I put these expectations on myself? Why do I tell myself I'm out of my league?  Why do I listen to Satan's lies that I have to be a certain someone or be a certain way because my husband happens to have a certain rank on his shoulders.  It is the cross that dictates how I should live my life, not a set of wings perched on my husbands uniform.  It is the cross that gives me my worth and my importance and it is the One who died for me ON that cross that I should reflect, not the rank ON my husband.

It is that cross, not the wings, that MWC has kept his eyes on all these years as he's gone about his daily duties.  I am thankful for the godly example my dear husband has been to me, and I shall endeavor to follow that example.

Airman Frog Prince

I now have the distinct honor of having both a husband AND a son who serve in the United States Air Force.

Frog has officially been accepted into the Cadet Wing of the United States Air Force Academy.

An assignment is what you make it

There are two truths I try to live by, "there is no such thing as a bad assignment" and "an assignment is what you make it."  Sometimes that is harder than others.

Moving to England has been such an assignment for me.  I know its crazy, England is an AWESOME assignment. I know it but leaving my 3 adult children in the states has made it a huge challenge for me.

So each little perk of being in England has been an encouragment to me and a great reminder of God's blessings poured upon me amidst the challenges involved in this life as a military wife.  Sailing with a new good friend.  A lovely visit to a tearoom with Swan.  An evening at the theater with friends. Multiple lunch invites by loving people anxious to welcome us to this new place.  These are just a few highlights of the many perks we have already experienced in our short time here.

As if these were not enough, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to see not one but two Olympic games.   First we went to the USA v. Korea game, and as I blogged about earlier, I missed the one and only goal.  Certainly a disappointment but the truth is, I was still at a USA Olympic game.  Never in a million years, would I think that could happen to me.

Last night's USA semi-final game more than made up for that one missed goal. Being in a roaring crowd cheering for your country in a match that literally goes down to the last 30 seconds of overtime is a definite high.  Even watching the recap in this video on BBC's Olympic site, brings back the adrenaline rush.
USA v. Canada Womens Olympic football recap

So while a winning football game can not fill the space in my heart and home that has been left empty by the absence of all my children being with me, it is a reminder to me of God's abundant mercy in blessing me fantastically with good things in spite of the sinful, thankless attitude that is way too often present in me.

Frog living his dream

Training to become a Prince Airman.

 Sweetness wanted to know why he has to roll in the mud.  "Why can't he just walk through it?" She wants to know...and then added her feeling on the matter with a resounding "Yuck!"

The Three Musketeers.. Frog and his roommates

Anyone care to take me on in a little game of Where's Waldo?

Actually I think I'd fail miserably at Where's Waldo, however when the game in Find Frog in a sea of buzzcuts and ABU's, I definitely have the advantage of the mother's eye. Can you find him in this photo?

Webguy is an awesome blog where thousands of photos of summer training at USAFA are posted daily. For a membership fee, I can feed my addiction of Frog stalking for an hour or more daily.

It'll be hard when our household goods arrive and I have to choose between my addiction and putting the house in order.  Maybe I should thank customs for their delay!

Proud Mama Moment

While perusing thousands, yes literally thousands, of photos of USAFA cadet training daily, Sunshine approached me one morning as I found a photo of Frog.

Mommy, why is here wearing Daddy's uniform?

He's not sweetie, he's wearing his OWN!!

I don't know how you do it

If I had a dime for every time I heard that statement, I'd be a very rich woman. 

I hear it in regards to homeschooling. I hear it in regards to having 5 children.  And more often than not, I hear it in regards to being a military wife.

The answer is actually very simple.  I do it by the grace of God.  He has planned this course for me and called me to it, and He gives me the strength, the means, and the ability to do it.

A huge part of the means God gives me to live this military life lies in the answers to the Why I do it.

I do it because....

1. My husband loves his job.  He feels a strong calling to serve the Lord by serving his country.  He is very good at what he does and is confident that he is doing exactly what God wants him to be doing.

2. I love my husband.  I plant no roots in any one place, but I am bound to him by a deep love and commitment and will go wherever he goes to be with him.  He is an awesome husband and father and I am honored to be serving by his side.

Roots and Branches

Yesterday we were discussing envy in Sunday School. MWC used the example of others getting promoted "below the zone" (That's military speak for getting promoted before the expected proper time frame.) He said he could be tempted to ask, "what do these guys have that I don't"

My reply (not spoken aloud in class but he knows it anyway) "a wife praying fervently against it?"

MWC is up for promotion "in the zone" this year. (That's military speak for getting promoted on the proper time frame.) While the extra pay would be a very nice benefit, I'm not sure its worth it.

A promotion for him at this point, could very likely mean another move. It would also mean longer time in service and more possibility of deployments. It would also mean even longer hours than he works now.

I can live with any of the above, and not LIKE a single one but its the thought of moving again that has the biggest impact on my desire for no promotion. To put it bluntly, I'm tired of moving. I'm tired of no roots.

Our military life has been wonderful. We have loved all our assignments but one and even that one wasn't bad. We have lived overseas and travelled all over Europe. We have close relationships with our children and each other that I believe is a result of our constantly uprooting and only having each other as a constant.

However, my older children are starting to leave our nest. Clone graduates next year and is not planning to return home to live after that. Swan will most likely go on a mission trip next summer and Frog leaves for college. My big children are now branching out and making their own way in the world. I want to be rooted in one place from which they can branch out and return to visit.

I also know though, that our true foundation is God and whether we are rooted in one place or not, we are grounded in His sovereign control of our lives. He will plant us where we will grow and best serve His purposes.

So while I do not want to move, most of all, I do want to be where God would have me. And if it is God's will for MWC to be promoted, stay in the military longer and move yet again, we can always use that extra pay for plane tickets get all our notrootedintheworld branches back together.