Out of my league

I'm very proud of MWC and his sense of duty, hard work and integrity.  I also marvel at God's blessings poured upon us and the worldly honor he has bestowed on MWC.   MWC has been officially promoted and is now at the highest rank he can obtain in the USAF.  It was a promotion he was told he'd never make and he didn't actively pursue.  He didn't ask for the *right* jobs, he didn't make the right sacrifices.  He set his mind to serving the Lord, and balancing serving in the military while raising a large family.  Yet the Lord kept putting opportunities in his path, and that path lead to this promotion.

I confess I didn't want this promotion.  I wanted retirement. I wanted out.  I confess I selfishly prayed that he would not get it.  Yet, as I shared a while ago, the Lord was merciful to me in changing my heart when it came time for us to hear the news and I truly wanted this promotion because MWC wanted it, and I wanted him to be happy.

Well now he has officially "pinned on".  Its odd to see that rank on his shoulders.  Its odd to see the extra respect and level of responsibility that goes with it.  He had to explain to me how things are different now for him from a military point of view.  I didn't get it.

To me, MWC is still the man I love. The man who still takes too long in the bathroom, snores at night if he isn't wearing his Breathe-Right strips, and still forgets to pick things up for me on base if he doesn't write it down (or more likely call his office and leave himself a message on voicemail).

And I'm still me.  I'm still the slightly overweight, increasingly forgetful, happy to be home with my children mom, who doesn't really know how to behave as the wife of  "one of those guys."  I've got a new world opened up to me socially now and feel new expectations placed upon me.  I feel I should be classier, more sophisticated, more worthy of reflecting my husband's new rank.  But I'm not, I'm still me.

And I wonder, why do I put these expectations on myself? Why do I tell myself I'm out of my league?  Why do I listen to Satan's lies that I have to be a certain someone or be a certain way because my husband happens to have a certain rank on his shoulders.  It is the cross that dictates how I should live my life, not a set of wings perched on my husbands uniform.  It is the cross that gives me my worth and my importance and it is the One who died for me ON that cross that I should reflect, not the rank ON my husband.

It is that cross, not the wings, that MWC has kept his eyes on all these years as he's gone about his daily duties.  I am thankful for the godly example my dear husband has been to me, and I shall endeavor to follow that example.