Confessions of a military wife on September 11

Ten years ago today, lives of Americans were unalterably and forever changed.  For those in New York, the Pentagon, and on that airplane that went down in PA and all their families, the change was immediate, drastic and devastating.  The terror of that day was painful and acute and is seared into their memories.

For the rest of us, we have had to learn to live as a nation at war with an unseen enemy.  We have to give up privacy for security.  We have to stand in long times at airports so we can take off our shoes and walk through metal detectors so that we can travel.  We go on heightened alert and have to be hyper-vigilant as a nation to protect ourselves against future attack.

For some of us, the change has been less noticeable and insidious.  Because of that day 10 years ago, I have now become one of "those" military wives.  The first time MWC went away for 5 weeks was over 12 years ago.  For the first time since our wedding day, we would be apart for our anniversary.  I was devastated. Before church that morning, I went into the bathroom to cry. I was followed by at least 8 women, all military wives, who came to comfort me.  I'll never forget apologizing to them for being such a baby.  Most of them had lost count of missed birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.  One dear woman said, "you are the lucky one here.  This is supposed to hurt!  We are the ones so hardened by it that we no longer feel anything."

MWC went on a trip for several days last week.  He is going again soon.  Thank you to the terrorists 10 years ago, my life as a military wife has been so altered that I am now hardened like the best of them.  After years of longer hours, many, many short term TDY's (temporary duty trips for all you civvies out there!) and deployments of 3 months, 5 months, and 8 months, a few days is nothing.  I wish they still were but I can not change history, and I can not change my husband's duty to his country and his love for his job and desire to serve.

I can only plug away, one day at a time, being thankful for all the Lord has done for me, trusting in his sovereignty, and remembering that He is in control and perfectly trustworthy.  I do not need to harden my heart to protect it, but leave it open to Him and trust that He will protect it while I love my husband fully, when he's home and when he's away.