Remember a few days ago, I posted about my heart being ready. I specifically asked to be reminded of God's sovereignty and gracious dealings with me "when I'm surrounded by boxes and having to say good-bye...again." Well, we're not even close to needing the boxes yet and already I'm wavering in my ability to rest peacefully in the Lord's sovereignty.
MWC was indeed selected for promotion...and I am truly happy and joyful about that. Yesterday he told he is on the "must move" list. Staying here is not an option. I knew that but I didn't want to KNOW that and hearing it was like a punch in the stomach.
He has been able to express his desire for a certain job type but beyond that, location and whether he gets that job are totally out of his hands. There are two likely bases that we are aware of. Originally I REALLY wanted one. Now I REALLY want the other. I woke up one morning with my heart completely changed about it.
I always ask the Lord to "give me the desires of my heart" so that I desire where He will send us. Is this change of heart a sign of more gracious dealings with me? Is He preparing my heart?
I'm not yet sure if that is what happening and this is where this desire is coming from. But I am sure, that whether its one of those places or another we do not know is even a possibility, God will send us where it best pleases Him to do so and it will be the perfect place for us.
Moreover, I'm even more sure, that I need to rest in that knowledge and not want to control it and stress over it.
You'd think after all these years and all these moves, I'd have this resting in the Lord while waiting for assignments ability down. Sadly, I do not.
It does appear that our perfect, patient and good Lord is going to give me another chance at it though. I must confess I wish I didn't need so many!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment
For the sake of privacy, I do not use my family's real names on my blog. Please be mindful of that as you leave your comments. Thanks! :)